Tara Knowles (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
drownedindreams) wrote2014-10-04 11:33 pm
drownedindreams) wrote2014-10-04 11:33 pm
Entry tags:
Surprise, it's a....!
It's hard, making time for each other. Both of them have jobs, even though Jax spends more time with the boys than he does working on cars. They've got the house to work on and continue making a home, a baby to get ready for - and Tara's only just stopped being so tired that she'd just found herself in bed in the morning when Jax had put her there more times than she could really count.
But they do make time. They make time, and it's not just because they've got a new set of rings on their fingers. They've figured out what's important - family, friends, each other - and they're willing t put in the investment to keep those bonds strong. There's no discussion of What Happened On Father's Day, there's no mention of the letters that are safely tucked into a box in the attic. There's life before, and life now, and they don't really talk about what was - and it suits them just fine.
She's starting to get the boundless energy she had with Thomas, where she'd just catnap during the day, but she started wandering farther and farther in Charming until Bobby had a Talk with her about how it was a pain in the ass for the prospects to have to run all over town to keep an eye on her. Today, though - that's not Jax inside and prospects in tow. Instead, it's the boys with the sitter, and they're going to do the ultrasound and then go to dinner. It's an actual date, and hopefully it'll go better than her last visit.
Everything was fine - the baby was measuring normally, no evidence of anything wrong, still due in the first week of March. The problem, though, was that the doctor had an issue. With Jax. With Jax's vehicle of choice, and with his kutte, to be exact. So, new doctor, hopefully a better appointment, and then dinner.
Getting in was simple, and Tara stares at the ceiling before she looks over at Jax. "I'm so glad you're here." It's quiet, those words. She's just thinking about appointment after appointment when she'd either been alone, or worse - with his mother. About having to go in and show him pictures but never actually having him see this, past the first time. Letting go of his hand, Tara tugs him closer by the edge of his kutte for a kiss, smiling as her eyes search his. "I love you. Let's see our kid, huh?"
But they do make time. They make time, and it's not just because they've got a new set of rings on their fingers. They've figured out what's important - family, friends, each other - and they're willing t put in the investment to keep those bonds strong. There's no discussion of What Happened On Father's Day, there's no mention of the letters that are safely tucked into a box in the attic. There's life before, and life now, and they don't really talk about what was - and it suits them just fine.
She's starting to get the boundless energy she had with Thomas, where she'd just catnap during the day, but she started wandering farther and farther in Charming until Bobby had a Talk with her about how it was a pain in the ass for the prospects to have to run all over town to keep an eye on her. Today, though - that's not Jax inside and prospects in tow. Instead, it's the boys with the sitter, and they're going to do the ultrasound and then go to dinner. It's an actual date, and hopefully it'll go better than her last visit.
Everything was fine - the baby was measuring normally, no evidence of anything wrong, still due in the first week of March. The problem, though, was that the doctor had an issue. With Jax. With Jax's vehicle of choice, and with his kutte, to be exact. So, new doctor, hopefully a better appointment, and then dinner.
Getting in was simple, and Tara stares at the ceiling before she looks over at Jax. "I'm so glad you're here." It's quiet, those words. She's just thinking about appointment after appointment when she'd either been alone, or worse - with his mother. About having to go in and show him pictures but never actually having him see this, past the first time. Letting go of his hand, Tara tugs him closer by the edge of his kutte for a kiss, smiling as her eyes search his. "I love you. Let's see our kid, huh?"
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"I know I'm not really showing as much as I maybe should be, but every time they've measured, the baby's the right size, it's just not super obvious." That's the only thing she's worried about right now, really.
Besides, you know, the hanging spectre of the heart defect hanging over them both, but Tara was used to this worry - not just with the two of them, but again and again with various parents that came to her, back in Chicago; the nervousness when it was genetic, if they'd hit the worst lottery possible.
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"Varying strength. I was born with it but I barely feel anything from it anymore. Abel was real bad. My mom had surgery when she was younger."
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Reaching to switch on the monitor, Mindy carefully checks and records the size, the length, all of the things that Tara has mentioned before. "Everything looks great," she assures them, pointing out the fingers, the toes before once again checking her notes. "I have it here that you wanted to find out the sex today? Is that right?"
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This time, though.... he's never been through it, and he's here. He's safe, and the wedding ring on her finger feels even more solid than before. More grounding. "We'd love to know if it's a boy or a girl." She's trying not to squeeze his hand too tightly, even though she just wants to know.
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"And yeah, I really want to kow," he admits.
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Aside from delivering a baby into the arms of its parents for the first time, this is one of Mindy's favorite parts of her job. It doesn't take her long to identify the gender, either, she's done what feels like a billion sonograms, but she checks from a few different angles just to make sure before using the cursor to draw a circle around the significant parts. "Looks like you're having a girl," she tells them. "A healthy baby girl."
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It's the difference. Every day puts them further away from that kitchen, from the police reports that were locked away and they didn't talk about them. Every single day is another bit of distance, but somehow this, that they're having a girl- it's a giant leap away from that life.
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Holy shit. Holy shit.. He feels the same way; every day their little girl grows and her heart pumps strong is a step down the path that carries them away from that murder scene.
"Holy shit, Tara." He laughs gain and grabs er for a kiss.
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She should be able to separate work from her own life by now, but there's still a lump in her throat as she thinks about whether and when this will be her. She's not super great with anyone else's once they have teeth, but she can't wait to have her own kids. It's all part of the dream. "Shall I give you two a minute? I'll go grab your pictures, if you'd like."
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"She's perfect." She can't not say it, she can't not think of the time that Jax had decided that their baby that hadn't existed was a girl, and how happy he'd been - but now it's real and those times are gone, and she's grateful. "This is real. It's real, and we're having a baby girl."
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"She's gonna look like you," Jax decides. "I already know I'm gonna be wrapped around that little girl's finger."
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"She's real, and she's ours, and... I love her." They'd talked already about how they loved their children, their baby that hadn't yet been born, but it's the first time she's been able to say that. That she loves her.
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And despite it all, he loves this city. This place where they can fight fate.
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"We're gonna...do this right, this time. Paint the nursery together, hang those ultrasound photos on the fridge. Pick out names. All that shit. Together."
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Her eyes flicked up to Jax's. "I don't know how to do this and have you be here, Jax. Be- I'm learning, okay? Both of us, this can be new." She took his hand, and pressed it to the curve of our stomach. "But we'll figure it out for her." She smiled, because she was overjoyed with the fact that everything seemed good, and they were having a daughter.
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"Good thing we got that four-bedroom, huh?" he teased. He bent down and kissed her hair. "We'll figure it out, buy the books or whatever."