drownedindreams | Surprise, it's a....!

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Surprise, it's a....!

It's hard, making time for each other. Both of them have jobs, even though Jax spends more time with the boys than he does working on cars. They've got the house to work on and continue making a home, a baby to get ready for - and Tara's only just stopped being so tired that she'd just found herself in bed in the morning when Jax had put her there more times than she could really count.

But they do make time. They make time, and it's not just because they've got a new set of rings on their fingers. They've figured out what's important - family, friends, each other - and they're willing t put in the investment to keep those bonds strong. There's no discussion of What Happened On Father's Day, there's no mention of the letters that are safely tucked into a box in the attic. There's life before, and life now, and they don't really talk about what was - and it suits them just fine.

She's starting to get the boundless energy she had with Thomas, where she'd just catnap during the day, but she started wandering farther and farther in Charming until Bobby had a Talk with her about how it was a pain in the ass for the prospects to have to run all over town to keep an eye on her. Today, though - that's not Jax inside and prospects in tow. Instead, it's the boys with the sitter, and they're going to do the ultrasound and then go to dinner. It's an actual date, and hopefully it'll go better than her last visit.

Everything was fine - the baby was measuring normally, no evidence of anything wrong, still due in the first week of March. The problem, though, was that the doctor had an issue. With Jax. With Jax's vehicle of choice, and with his kutte, to be exact. So, new doctor, hopefully a better appointment, and then dinner.

Getting in was simple, and Tara stares at the ceiling before she looks over at Jax. "I'm so glad you're here." It's quiet, those words. She's just thinking about appointment after appointment when she'd either been alone, or worse - with his mother. About having to go in and show him pictures but never actually having him see this, past the first time. Letting go of his hand, Tara tugs him closer by the edge of his kutte for a kiss, smiling as her eyes search his. "I love you. Let's see our kid, huh?"

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"Told you babe. Ain't gonna miss this," Jax says. He'll be there for every appointment, if Tara wants him. He knows there's a lot of family milestone shit that he'd passed up on with Abel and just plain missed with Thomas. This time, it's time to do it right. He'll be there.

"I love you so much." He swears it every day.

There's something vaguely familiar about both of their names and Mindy realises she's met Jax before at a Halloween party, but she doesn't let herself think about it too much beyond that. There are too many weird familiarities in the city, from celebrities method acting their lives through to people her mind wants to place but can't.

This is all about work, anyway, and she's browsing through Tara's folder as she walks out into the waiting room, beaming at them both. Another new patient she has over Danny, if she were the competitive type (which she totally is.) "Tara," she greets, waving them both into the room which is a little dated for her liking, but functional. "I am Dr. Lahiri. It's so good to meet you both."

Tara smiles widely, and her hand easily slips into Jax's. "Dr. Lahiri, it's nice to meet you." She gets herself situated - a gown usually isn't needed for this anymore - it's just shirt up, scootch down the waistband of your pants, and for that, Tara's grateful. She doesn't have an issue with being in hospitals - which is a boon, considering the fact that she spends a majority of her time at Darrow General - but the last time she had to put on a medical gown all she could think about was her hand.

She's never mentioned it, and she won't, but she's still happy that this is different. "I'm pretty sure that Dr. Fletcher sent over the records - I talked to him some, but we had some... communication difficulties." She doesn't even realise she's talking to her like a colleague instead of a patient; mostly it's because the last time, her obstetrician wasn't even listening - he was too preoccupied with picking apart her marriage with Jax. "The only real concern that we know of is that Jax's side of the family has a congenital heart defect; if he hasn't forwarded the records, I'll make sure that you get them."

Jax smiles, remembering their encounter only vaguely but knowing her face. "Yeah, we've met a coupla times. Before Tara came." He squeezes her hand again and helps her into the chair. Tara doesn't need him, but he likes feeling needed, feeling as if he's the head of the family.

"He thought I was a thug," Jax translates, not interested in mincing words especially when he's already friendly with their new doctor. "Yeah, it almost did my first kid in, the family flaw. Took my brother when we were kids."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Mindy says carefully. She knows it's the sort of thing that they have to tell her about, too many new parents don't, but it still dampens her tone a little, at least while she gets the equipment for the sonogram set up.

She grabs the file and looks it over. It all appears fine, and she can't help but feel annoyed that the previous doctor judged Jax as being a thug. She is, admittedly, the most judgemental person in the world, but she's careful to keep it out of work. "How have you been feeling, Tara?" she asks, carefully applying the gel and wincing sympathetically because, yeah, it's cold. "Any nausea or pain at all?"

"Surprisingly little. With Thomas, I was-" She glances over at Jax, and swallows thickly before she looks up at Dr. Lahiri and smiles. "With my son, I was so sick. Now, I'm just... tired. I'll fall asleep whenever I can, but it seems to be getting better, too. You know? I mean-" She shakes her head slightly, not knowing if she's got any children and not wanting to pry.

"I know I'm not really showing as much as I maybe should be, but every time they've measured, the baby's the right size, it's just not super obvious." That's the only thing she's worried about right now, really.

Besides, you know, the hanging spectre of the heart defect hanging over them both, but Tara was used to this worry - not just with the two of them, but again and again with various parents that came to her, back in Chicago; the nervousness when it was genetic, if they'd hit the worst lottery possible.

And somehow, Jax is so much less scared of the chances for their baby this time. After the break from the club, he feels like at least the threat of the heart defect is something they can control. He'd survived it and Abel was growing stronger everyday. No one was gonna kidnap their kid or use it as collateral. That was the important shit.

"Varying strength. I was born with it but I barely feel anything from it anymore. Abel was real bad. My mom had surgery when she was younger."

Edited 2014-10-08 05:25 (UTC)

"Well, the good thing is that we're aware of it, so we can monitor and manage it," Mindy offers with what she hopes is a reassuring smile. It's good that they're so upfront, aware of what might affect their child so they can do whatever they can to prevent it. "Being tired is totally normal, too, but you might want to add a little extra iron into your diet. I am partial to steak, but leafy greens are good, too." If a little less delicious, but she's more inclined to care about her patient's diet than her own.

Reaching to switch on the monitor, Mindy carefully checks and records the size, the length, all of the things that Tara has mentioned before. "Everything looks great," she assures them, pointing out the fingers, the toes before once again checking her notes. "I have it here that you wanted to find out the sex today? Is that right?"

Tara laughs when Dr. Lahiri mentions steak - mostly because she's eaten more steak being around Jax than she did in an entire decade in Chicago. "We've got the steak thing covered, I'll just make sure to eat more of it, and some spinach." She slips her hand in Jax's, and rubs over his knuckles with her thumb as she nods. "Yeah, if you can see it?" She was alone, when she went through this with Thomas. It'd been right before Jax had gotten stabbed in prison, and she'd told him that visit and then she hadn't been able to see him.

This time, though.... he's never been through it, and he's here. He's safe, and the wedding ring on her finger feels even more solid than before. More grounding. "We'd love to know if it's a boy or a girl." She's trying not to squeeze his hand too tightly, even though she just wants to know.

"Good thing steak and scrambled eggs are about the only things I can cook, huh babe?" Jax teases, lifting her hand to kiss the back of it. There's a few more things, but it's still pretty well stuck in the realm of grilled cheese and hot dogs.

"And yeah, I really want to kow," he admits.

"Well, then," Mindy beams. "Let's find out, shall we?"

Aside from delivering a baby into the arms of its parents for the first time, this is one of Mindy's favorite parts of her job. It doesn't take her long to identify the gender, either, she's done what feels like a billion sonograms, but she checks from a few different angles just to make sure before using the cursor to draw a circle around the significant parts. "Looks like you're having a girl," she tells them. "A healthy baby girl."

Tara stares at the monitor, her heart in her throat. "Oh," she says quietly, and she turns back to look at Jax, and she can't stop the way her eyes well with tears. "We're having a girl, Jax." She reaches back for his hand, and she can't grip it tightly enough, the lump in her throat actually hurting with the emotion.

It's the difference. Every day puts them further away from that kitchen, from the police reports that were locked away and they didn't talk about them. Every single day is another bit of distance, but somehow this, that they're having a girl- it's a giant leap away from that life.

"Shit," Jax huffs out, eyes wide. There's a healthy little girl growing inside Tara, their baby girl. "Look at her. Look at her."

Holy shit. Holy shit.. He feels the same way; every day their little girl grows and her heart pumps strong is a step down the path that carries them away from that murder scene.

"Holy shit, Tara." He laughs gain and grabs er for a kiss.

Yeah, this never gets old. Chills run up Mindy's spine and she smiles wide before stepping back and clicking a few buttons on the monitor to arrange a printed copy.

She should be able to separate work from her own life by now, but there's still a lump in her throat as she thinks about whether and when this will be her. She's not super great with anyone else's once they have teeth, but she can't wait to have her own kids. It's all part of the dream. "Shall I give you two a minute? I'll go grab your pictures, if you'd like."

Tara smiled gratefully at Dr. Lahiri before she's grabbed into a kiss, and she's laughing when Jax pulls back, and she nods. "That'd be great, thanks." She can't let go of Jax's hand - literally, she can't, even if she wanted to, her fingers are wound tightly in his, and her eyes search his when all of this - it seems... right. It's so right, this future that they've built for themselves, and they're going to have a daughter.

"She's perfect." She can't not say it, she can't not think of the time that Jax had decided that their baby that hadn't existed was a girl, and how happy he'd been - but now it's real and those times are gone, and she's grateful. "This is real. It's real, and we're having a baby girl."

"It is," he says. "This is all real." Their life here, their home, friends, family. Charming is a nightmare they can leave behind. Everything about this city is the place they'd wanted, in the long run. It's far away, totally removed from the shit in Charming.

"She's gonna look like you," Jax decides. "I already know I'm gonna be wrapped around that little girl's finger."

When they're alone, Tara leans her forehead against Jax's, still squeezing his hand tightly. "You're already wrapped around her finger," laughing softly, she can't help the way she kisses him again, that she pulls the strength from what he says. This is real, it's not the life they left.

"She's real, and she's ours, and... I love her." They'd talked already about how they loved their children, their baby that hadn't yet been born, but it's the first time she's been able to say that. That she loves her.

"I love her too," Jax swears. He kisses Tara then, just slow and warm and so damn happy. "I love you. I love our family..."

And despite it all, he loves this city. This place where they can fight fate.

She takes his hand, and presses it to her stomach, her eyes searching his. "This is the way it'll be. I'm never going back there, and neither are you. Neither are our sons. This... this is good, Jax." She doesn't know if she's trying to convince him or herself, but she needs to say it again. She needs this to blot out every single thing of where they'd come from.

"This is the way it'll be," he repeats, swearing it more seriously than he did their wedding vow.

"We're gonna...do this right, this time. Paint the nursery together, hang those ultrasound photos on the fridge. Pick out names. All that shit. Together."

Nodding, Tara pulled him close for another kiss. "All of it," she said quietly. "I.... I don't know what I'm doing, with a lot of this. I just kept working, and I let your mom handle it, with Thomas. She just- she put everything together, I just...."

Her eyes flicked up to Jax's. "I don't know how to do this and have you be here, Jax. Be- I'm learning, okay? Both of us, this can be new." She took his hand, and pressed it to the curve of our stomach. "But we'll figure it out for her." She smiled, because she was overjoyed with the fact that everything seemed good, and they were having a daughter.

Her stomach was still small enough that Jax's one hand could still cover most of it. Gently, he stroked his thumb over Tara's skin, smiling at her.

"Good thing we got that four-bedroom, huh?" he teased. He bent down and kissed her hair. "We'll figure it out, buy the books or whatever."

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