drownedindreams: ([jax] connection)
Tara Knowles ([personal profile] drownedindreams) wrote 2014-04-19 07:35 am (UTC)

"It's okay." She'd said that so many times, but she moved as she said it, she moved and it didn't matter that the hospital bed wasn't big enough for her to fully sit properly on the side of it. She did anyway. She faced him, the line of her thigh pressed against his, and she was so close that she could lean in and kiss him if she wanted too.

She didn't yet, because her hand rest on the side of his neck. "It's okay, Jax. I have loved you - and I have wanted to marry you, since I was sixteen. That hasn't ever changed." Her eyes were puffy, and she took a deep breath.

"I was the surgeon on site when you came in."

The words were said so quietly, and he could see it in her eyes, how badly it'd shaken her up. "Eventually, they got the on-call in here, but... I... I could have-" she tightened her jaw. "And you were coming home with a ring." She had taken his hand, and was holding it with both of hers.

"I love you so much. I would move mountains for you if I could, I would do anything-" She bent her head, and pressed a kiss to his bandaged knuckles. "I'm trying to make this better. What is wrong with me, better. You are such a good man, and you're a good father, and a good partner-" Tara cleared her throat. "Please.... don't take it back, unless you don't want this. If you don't, then.... then that's okay." She still wore the first ring around her neck on a chain, she didn't take them off. "I know I'm not okay, Jax. But I'm trying."

It scared her; it scared her because it made it harder, if he found out. If he found out everything she'd done, everything that had happened.... but that didn't make her not love him. Jax was her blind spot, he always had been. He was her exception.

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