a mother's hands are her comforts

[drownedindreams]

Her hair was still too short.

Jax was head-down in writing in his journal and it reminded Tara of JT's 'manifesto' that he'd left his son. That that's what started all of this, that and the letters. Until they'd seen those pieces of Jax's father reaching out from the past, there had been no questions or doubt.

Now her hair was a foot shorter than it should have been. It was all connected in a weird way, and she found herself staring in the bedroom mirror. She combed out her wet hair with her fingers, the towel wrapped around her as she dripped into the beige carpet all apartments seemed to have. She looked... tired, she felt. Tara didn't know when she'd become the woman in the mirror, but she didn't really like it. "I'm going to keep growing my hair out," she said quietly, without so much as a Hey to get his attention.

"D'you think that'd be good?" She eyed it for another second, before she looked at him over her shoulder even as she moved to pull clean clothes out of the dresser.

Comments

[consciencedcowardice]

"Yeah. God it would," Jax admitted. "I don't want to become the man you were fleeing that night. What if I do some little thing. Turn the wrong corner someday, and that starts off the whole wheel and suddenly I'm the man I was?"

Or worse. What if he had become like Clay?

"I never wanna stop being like this Tara. We grow, we change, but we don't lose each other. That's what I want."

And maybe, someday, they could grow their family and buy a house. But first, they had to work on the now. And, as if it was a way of sealing that promise, he raised Tara's right hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers and palm.

[drownedindreams]

Tara paused, and then found the right words, she thought. The right words, when she tried to explain. "The man I was running from was changed from taking the gavel and having to try and get the club out of all of the shit Clay got it into, Jax. The death... every time it happened, it killed part of you. I could see it." Her hand found his cheek. "You won't be that man, now. You won't. This is a new life for both of us." Her eyes searched his even as he took her hand, telling her that he didn't want to lose her.

"I love you," she said lowly as he pressed his lips to her hand. "We'll talk. When these things happen, when they come up - we'll talk. I know you can't know it all, that it won't help you or me to say them, but... but if it comes up, we'll talk it out, I promise. I won't just... not tell you." It was important, to her. It was important that they stay honest. That they work together, and build a family.

"I will always be here for you," she said softly. "And I won't let it happen. Not again. I won't lose you."