drownedindreams | (no subject)

She'd nearly dropped the house key twice trying to let herself into their apartment. It wasn't home yet but it was the closest she had. Since Jax was there, and the boys were there, it was close enough... which made what she did once she got the door open probably weirder. She opened the door, then pushed it shut, leaning back against it. Tara tipped her head back, and she took one deep breath, then another, then another, not realising that Jax was on the couch, and could absolutely see her having her tiny little meltdown.

She took another deep breath, and then reached for the lock on the door. She pushed it closed without looking at it, and then finally looked around the apartment, and she was torn between talking to Jax, and checking on the boys, until she finally spoke. "Just- Just one minute, I need to check on them." She didn't even say why, but she moved down the hall, to their room, and thank god, they were fine. They were fine and whole. She'd been afraid that somehow, somehow, they would both be laying there, their faces blank. Gone. Like the man outside the hospital. She didn't hear Jax get up, for the way the blood was roaring in her ears as she stared down at their sons who just slept soundly.

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"I just don't want to take over whatever life you have here," she said softly, her eyes searching his when he pulled back from the kiss. "I show up, all... messed up, and I bring a baby with me, and you're just settling in being a single parent who works and- I just meant that I know you've got to be going through a lot." She said it softly, and her fingers toyed with his hair before she leaned up to meet his kiss. "He'll always be our son."

She wasn't able to stop the way her lips quirked into a smile, her skin flushed as she looked up at him, as she tried to push away just how much this was both familiar and something she thought was long gone. "I feel connected to you," she whispered as her eyes searched his, that smile small and sweet on her lips. "I feel connected with you, and it... it helps me remember who you are," Her smile didn't falter when she said that, but when she leaned up to kiss him again, there was a thread of need there that wasn't there before. Something heavy and emotional, her hand that'd moved to his chest fisting his t-shirt without realising how tightly she was holding it.

Jax laughed at that just a little, shaking his head. "I don't have much of a life here. I wake up, drop Abel off, go to work, and go home." Without the club, without a whole lot of distractions going on, he'd turned into a bit of a homebody. "You coming here is great."

It was so easy to rest against the counter with her, to see Tara finally smiling and happy to be here. There was a hunger in them both that felt so good, like simmering heat under their skin.

"The boys are in bed," he said, a subtle offer.

"It'll be different, now." She didn't know how, but it would be - he wouldn't have to worry about having nothing, because both of them, together, they'd have everything.

Her eyes searched his, and she spoke quietly, her brows quirking upward. "Do you know- before the night I showed up, it'd been months? I..." Her hand found his chest, and she could feel his heartbeat under her hand. "They are." And she ran her hand up to cup the back of his neck, her eyes searching his. "I need to be connected," she finally said softly, and it wasn't just some innuendo, it was--

We don't know who we are until we're connected to someone else.

"I need to remember who you are, Jax," she murmured before she leaned up to kiss him, her fingers still tight on his shirt.

"We got all night to remember," Jax promised. Tonight and every night after, as far as he was concerned. He could tell that there was something deeper than sex on offer here. Sex was just the conduit, the skin against skin to send sparks between them. It was their hearts, their thoughts that would turn that back into a fire.

They would be okay. He believed that. Had to, wanted to.

More than okay. Things would be good this time.

"C'mon," he said, putting the undrunk coffee aside to guide her to their room. "Let's connect then, babe."