Her eyes search Katie's as she takes a deep breath - and she's never had this. Never had someone who wasn't Jax to talk her through the bad times (and there'd been so many.) There's been Gemma a couple of times, but her advice was always tainted by the woman's preoccupation with Jax, and Tara's own mother... She died when Tara had been nine years old, and even before that she'd been a disciplinarian that ruled with an iron fist.
"I never stopped loving him," she says quietly. "I'll love him until the day I die. I.... I'm not the woman he left behind, Katie. I did things- he hated me, I think. Part of him, he hated me, because of what I did. I took our sons, and I can't keep hiding the things I did. If he lives- When he is better - it's killing me." She whispered the last three words.
"I can't have another baby, I can't-" When she and Jax had offhandedly discussed it, she'd found herself saying she couldn't, but what she thought - from her gut, what she thought was that she couldn't run with three children. She couldn't keep three children safe. "If I tell him - when I tell him, he's going to hate me, and he won't let me near my sons." Everything's come to a head; it's not just Jax's stabbing, it's not just her own crisises, it's not just the pregnancy scare; it's all of it, all together - it's cracked that foundation she'd just patched two days ago.
no subject
"I never stopped loving him," she says quietly. "I'll love him until the day I die. I.... I'm not the woman he left behind, Katie. I did things- he hated me, I think. Part of him, he hated me, because of what I did. I took our sons, and I can't keep hiding the things I did. If he lives- When he is better - it's killing me." She whispered the last three words.
"I can't have another baby, I can't-" When she and Jax had offhandedly discussed it, she'd found herself saying she couldn't, but what she thought - from her gut, what she thought was that she couldn't run with three children. She couldn't keep three children safe. "If I tell him - when I tell him, he's going to hate me, and he won't let me near my sons." Everything's come to a head; it's not just Jax's stabbing, it's not just her own crisises, it's not just the pregnancy scare; it's all of it, all together - it's cracked that foundation she'd just patched two days ago.