drownedindreams: (concern)
Tara Knowles ([personal profile] drownedindreams) wrote 2014-02-24 07:02 am (UTC)

"Do we talk about them, or do I just tell you, and you tell me that everything's going to be fine and we're in a new place now?" She said it quietly as she looked at him, her eyes dull.

She shouldn't have been (and wasn't, when you got down to it) surprised that he'd found someone else. After Ima and Colette, she knew that faith was not something she would ever really get from him - and that was even when she was there. He'd married Wendy because he needed to have someone in his life.

"You keep saying it'll be okay, that it'll be better, Jax, and that- I don't know if it will. If I'm going to slip up and tell you something that you can't handle, and what then? You know what I am, without you?" Her eyes flicked to his. "When you aren't in my life, I feel like a robot. Like I go to work, I do my job, I come home, I go to sleep. I'm empty without you, but I already lost you once."

She hadn't told him about that, about what changed in him so that she'd greeted him with a gun. Yeah, she'd taken the kids, and that's a reason to be scared of him, but that they'd grown so far apart, how it had eaten at her the look on his face when she walked in on him at the brothel. She hadn't told him about those fourteen months alone, when she'd see him twice a week for fifteen minutes and had to act like it was the same as having someone there and she hadn't been pregnant and alone and with a newborn. She hadn't told him anything about any of it, about Clay and Piney and Opie. "How can I tell you when it's going to tear you apart?"

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